The Observer

Students Should Rejoice for New McKeon Floor Griddles

Students Should Rejoice for New McKeon Floor Griddles

April 30, 2019

President Rev. Joseph M. McShane, S.J., spontaneously decided we needed more monogrammed cups and needed to find money in the budget. But in return for this noble sacrifice, Fordham will be equipping every student with a spatula, a personalized chef’s apron and a complimentary floor cleaning kit.

This Was the Worst Spirit Week Ever

This Was the Worst Spirit Week Ever

April 30, 2019

When I saw a McMahon bulletin board advertising an upcoming spirit week, I thought things would be different this time. Each day promised new events. It was the culmination of a whole month of “giving it up” for something, apparently.

Liquid Cash: the Fordham Cup Conspiracy

Liquid Cash: the Fordham Cup Conspiracy

February 19, 2019

Fordham’s budget isn’t going to its London program; it’s funding the creation of thousands and thousands of elegant plastic cups decorated with the logo of our fine institution. Big Ben? More like Big Gulp.

SATIRE – Budget Troubles Lead to USG Shutdown

SATIRE – Budget Troubles Lead to USG Shutdown

February 6, 2019

As of Thursday, Feb. 5, United Student Government (USG) has been in a state of partial shutdown for 47 consecutive days. This breaks the previous record of two days in 2013, when the USG President at the time lost his keys. Shockingly, Austin Tong, Gabelli School of Business ’21, is not at fault this time.

SATIRE  –  Voulez-Vous Change? : The Case for ABBA-narchy

SATIRE – Voulez-Vous Change? : The Case for ABBA-narchy

February 6, 2019

My proposition is simple: instead of letting Russia exert influence on our elections and our lawmakers, we should let Sweden take the reins.