For experienced pickup artists and newbie woo-ers alike, these 14 openers are guaranteed* to snag you any Fordham Lincoln Center student your little Jesuit heart so desires.

If you’re getting nervous, just remember L.L.Cool J. — Ladies/Lads/Loyholas Love Cool Jesuits.

*Pickup guarantee does NOT apply to Rose Hill students.

1. Better evacuate the building and call ConEd, because it’s about to get steamy in here. 
2. Heard you like girls with class … well, I’m taking 21 credits and have no free time.
3. You look like you’re better endowed than Fordham.
4. How about you add me and drop that other clown?
5. I feel like Fordham’s football team with you, because I desperately want to score. 
6. Are you a dorm on the south side of McKeon? Because you’re so unbelievably hot.
7. Are you an Observer crossword puzzle? Because I could do you all day long.
8. Hey handsome, meet me after class and I’ll make a McMahon out of you.
9. Are you the Fordham Observer? Because I pass by you every day and just noticed you. 
10. You must be worth two or more violations of the 3:30 a.m. guest policy, because you’re extra fine.
11. I know we’re both living the mission … now how about missionary?
12. Hey, are you Fordham’s Westchester campus? Because I didn’t know that someone like you even existed.
13. Spill the tea: would you Ar-go out with me?
14. Egged or mugged? Let me introduce you to the third option: hugged.