Parks and Prejudices

What your favorite park says about you

By CORBIN GREGG and KREENA VORA

Central Park:

This one’s a classic and so close to Fordham. You probably imagine yourself as the main character of a Hallmark movie and hope to meet someone special while you read in the Mall. 

 

Riverside Park: 

Another solid choice — you either like to watch sunsets and take things slow, or you are sadistic and enjoy seeing Jersey.

 

Brooklyn Bridge Park:

Like most college kids in Manhattan, this was a stop on your initial excursion to Brooklyn during your first year. Still, you were only there to take pictures of the Manhattan skyline.

 

Washington Square Park:

Just another Lincoln Center student bitter about not getting into NYU. You think the weed, alcohol and vomit downtown is so much better than the variety found in McMahon.

 

Bryant Park:

You think it is never too early for Christmas, and it shows. While the decorations are cute and all, it might be time to tone it down a little, at least until after Thanksgiving. 

 

Little Island:

The concerts are over for the summer, so if this park is still your favorite, you are either a child at heart or just a perpetual tourist.

 

Prospect Park:

You decided to venture a little further into Brooklyn and are probably at least a sophomore. You’re definitely the type of person to choose substance over style.

 

Roosevelt Island:

You’re ~ different ~ and not like the other girls. You insist on taking the tram instead of the subway just so you can add another picture to your VSCO.

 

The Met:

A museum we treat as our playground and the ideal destination for all of Fordham’s beginning-of-semester, water-related emergencies. You’re predictable, basic and not quite as cultured as you want to appear.

 

Lincoln Center Plaza:

You like the juxtaposition of broke college kids against the backdrop of the Met Opera. You want to seem edgy but really are afraid of the teenagers who hang around when they are let out of LaGuardia.

 

The New York Botanical Garden:

Like flowers, you’re bright and sunshiny. Your friends rely on you to always put a positive spin on the daily struggles posed by the elevators in Lowenstein and the rats in dining halls.

 

No Favorite Park: 

Like the concrete jungle you find so endearing, your heart is made of stone. Please go get some fresh air before you start thinking the street lamps are trees.