Stop waiting for permission to have more fun! Dye your hair, tell that boy you like him and embrace your wildest fantasies. It is time to embrace the thrill of romance.
Going blonde has been essential to improving my game. I have never felt so empowered in my femininity. Recently, I dyed my hair a deep strawberry blonde as a transitional step to dyeing it lighter in the future. I want my hair to look like Gigi Hadid circa 2013. My biggest “ins” for 2025 are the three B’s: being blonde, being bold and being beautiful, and as a student body, I think it’s time we had more fun.
Being blonde allows me to be more bold. I am already a bold individual, but in my dating life, I tend to be a doormat. In the past, I loved to fold to my partner’s every will, thinking they would value me as a person if I could morph into the “perfect dream girl.”
I realized I don’t want to be with someone who bends to my every desire. I want to be with a person who holds their own and is willing to stick to their values, morals and obligations. Why should I not try to exhibit that behavior in myself? Why can I be bold in all areas of my life except romance?
I don’t mean chasing romantic partnerships. Chasing is never a good look. Trust me, I am someone who has been known to chase. I am no stranger to the rollercoaster of emotion that comes with trying to prove to someone that you are worthy of their love and affection. It never works out well in the end, even if he does have feelings for you. Chasing a romantic partnership is “out” for 2025.
My biggest “ins” for 2025 are the three B’s: being blonde, being bold and being beautiful, and as a student body, I think it’s time we had more fun.
Now that I am blonde, I feel no need to chase a romantic partnership. Chasing comes from a lack of mindset — a belief that there will never be someone better than this person. I have always felt like I have “something going on,” but being blonde has allowed me to embrace the fact that people actually find me sexually attractive. Look around you, there are options everywhere.
Recently, a man confessed that he had sexual feelings for me. My response was, “Yeah, I know everyone has a little fetish for me.”
As someone whose identity is highly fetishized both in popular media and pornography, I often feel like people’s sexual desire for me is inherently shameful. Being blonde has allowed me to find freedom from this association. I just tell myself, “Well, he must be into blondes.”
My biggest “out” for 2025 is dating and hookup apps. Hinge, Tinder, Grindr — they are all the same. The apps are a breeding ground for those who do not have the wherewithal to get some in real life. These massive dating corporations have profited off of and digitally gamified intimate, interpersonal and sexual instant gratification for the TikTok generation. It is essentially romantic and sexual Subway Surfers.
During 2024, my longest relationship was a 10-week non-committal fling with a fake bisexual with a mustache from Hinge. Before you stop reading, you should know this column is not about a girl who has sex and relationships all figured out. It is about a girl who is foolishly allowing herself to figure it out while letting all of her colleagues at her collegiate institution listen.
This fake bisexual with a mustache was clearly struggling with what my transness meant for his sexuality. I call him a “fake bisexual” because he identified as straight, but he was obviously struggling to come to grips with his own queerness. He also dressed like a gay Hell’s Kitchen gym bro and was confusing and inconsistent — my dream boy.
He gave me a branded pride pin from the company he worked at. When I asked him about his sexuality, he got very defensive, claiming that he was “straight” or at most “spicy straight.” Mostly, I knew that he was queer because of his behavior in the bedroom. He ghosted me after saying “I love you” while we were being intimate. I did not say it back. It was a dismal year for my love life. Fake bisexuals with mustaches are “out” for 2025. Being insecure about your sexuality is also “out” for 2025 — grow up.
I want to embrace the classic method of talking to people in real life and then feeling empowered in my sexuality to express such feelings.
After we ended things, I started to believe that romance was dead in New York City. I thought I wasted 10 weeks on a fake bisexual with a mustache. Now, I thank God I got out so soon. After dyeing my hair strawberry blonde, I realized that romance is only dead if you do not know how to make moves. To truly attract is to be constantly polishing your inner world through personal goals, self-care, fashion, diet and fitness.
One move that I used to make was posting pictures on my Instagram story to get attention. Yes, I still may occasionally be guilty of “thirst trapping,” but I have realized in therapy that it is not an effective form of communicating attraction. Thirst trapping is “out” for 2025.
Instead of thirst trapping on your Instagram story, try sending them an Instagram reel. Of course, before making this move, ensure you’ve established a friendly relationship. This way, you’re introducing a one-on-one conversation in a nonchalant and easy way. Make sure to keep it going. Do not send an Instagram reel in an effort to get another person to respond to your text. Being desperate is “out” for 2025. If this person doesn’t respond or show any interest, they don’t like you. You can move on without showing too many cards.
Asking people out on a date is “in” for 2025. Asking me out on a date is also “in.” I want to embrace the classic method of talking to people in real life and then feeling empowered in my sexuality to express such feelings. I always appreciate someone asking me out or expressing their interest in a non-creepy or perverse manner. Why should I think that people will be any less flattered when I do it? While I would caution against approaching every stranger you find attractive, as a generation, more of us can embrace the classic cold approach.
This spring semester, I want all of us Rams to ask out our hallway or class crush. It is important to work your way up to asking out another member of the Lincoln Center Ramily as we are a tight-knit group of around 2,000 undergraduates. The first step is to gauge interest quickly and then get out of there. If you have class together, ask them about the homework. If you do not have class together, ask them if you know them from somewhere. Everyone knows what that means.
The next step is to give them a casual compliment. Make sure you compliment something quintessential to why you find them attractive. First, go for something superficial like the fact that you like their jacket. Evolve this conversation into complimenting their personal style and taste. This way, you can stick in their mind in a positive way.
Finally, you want to catch them in a quiet moment. Sometimes, the Lowenstein halls stand still, whether waiting for an elevator, a pit stop at the vending machine or sitting on that bench near the gallery at the foot of the escalator. In these moments, you can take the opportunity to ask this person how they are. Strike up a genuine conversation. Ask about their plans for the weekend. When they say that they are free, ask them to hang out. If they say that they’re busy, it is time to get a new crush.
I feel like dyeing my hair has helped me reach my final form. When I transitioned, I lost a lot of confidence in my ability to love and be loved romantically. In the two and a half years since then, I have tried a lot to gain that confidence back. Most popular representations of trans women in love are full of shame, humiliation and violence. I hope this will not be the case for me. I think that it is time to have more fun.