Five Summer Songs That Must End Before They End You



Published: August 4, 2011

Since the existence of the first electric guitar, the pop song has reigned supreme, having a major part in the lives of youth everywhere. However, there is one type of pop song that is revered and highly anticipated by individuals all over, waiting through the harsh winters of January to the rainy days of April: the summer hit. A summer hit is supposed to be catchy; a tune that you hear on the radio played every hour; a tune that acts as an anthem for the late nights and the early mornings. Unfortunately, this sense of musical nostalgia has been ruined in recent times. Long gone are the days when the summer hit was actually incredibly good with impressive musicality. Today we’re faced with conveyor belt hits: songs that are pre-written with generalized lyrics. But sometimes this isn’t always the case. The summer hits of today are largely overplayed, worn out, rung up and as violated as a prison inmate at San Quentin. The first note of the song as it is played on the radio sometimes makes people reach for the dial to switch it off. Music, the summer hit in particular, shouldn’t be like that. Here are five summer songs that must end before they end you first.

5. Foster the People – “Pumped Up Kicks”

Good looking, charismatic and sensually playful, Foster the People (worst name in the history of band names) have a knack for writing disco-laden pop hits. “Pumped Up Kicks” has a catchy sing-along chorus and a bass line that will infuse even the most crippled man with more swag than he knows what to do with. Yet this summer hit suffers from dreaded overplay syndrome. Radio DJs catch on, get hooked and spin it all day long. Suddenly you want to take those pumped up kicks and strangle someone with the laces. By the way, does anyone else realize it’s about shooting up a school full of kids?

4. Nicki Minaj – “Super Bass”

I still can’t make out what she’s saying. I don’t even know what the song is about, nor do I want to know. The intro is annoying, the rapping agonizing, the concept confusing. Understanding Nicki Minaj is like trying to understand a toddler with a mouth full of peanut butter; they have a lot to say, but the potential for a wide-ranging vocabulary is just not important at that moment.

3. Adele – “Rolling in the Deep”

This was a tough one to choose. I know I’m going to get a lot of crap for this. Adele is an amazing artist with a larger than life set of pipes. “21” is probably the best vocal album to come along in awhile, not mention by one of the most talented young women complete with curves, sass and an all-knowing musical catalog stored right in her head. I’ve heard “Rolling in the Deep” literally everywhere, and at the weirdest of times—while sweating in the back of a sweltering taxi, in a nursery full of kids and in a gym filled with at least 20 other guys, blasting over the stereo—whatever testosterone was in that room just left.

2. Lady Gaga – “Edge of Glory”

Hearing this one more time may actually cause me to jump over the edge. Aside from having the superb saxophone work from the big man and E Street Band member, Clarence Clemons (we miss you buddy), the song is inescapable. I’ll admit it was catchy when it premiered—a first-rate pop song from the biggest thing since Madonna. Also, it’s a rip-off. Listen to Cher’s “Song for the Lonely.” You’ll see what I mean…and yeah, Cher is on my iPod.

1. LMFAO – “Party Rock Anthem”

If I had a quarter for every time this song was played at a party back in Jersey, I may just have enough money to buy a bottle of Heaven Hill and drink myself into oblivion in the hope that I forget this song. The “party song” of today is cheesy, cliché and doesn’t take much to put together. You want to listen to a real party song? Put on Southside Johnny’s cover of Sam Cooke’s “Having a Party.” The name says it all.