McMahon Hall Heartbreak Recovery Guide

How to Get Over a Breakup When You Live in the Same Building as Your Ex


So you’ve been dating (insert name here) for the past (two, three, four) years and you just broke up. So what right? Life goes on and there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Except for one small issue. You both live in the dorms. This could mean at least two things: one, you probably have a lot of the same friends, and two, you’ll run into each other in the most awkward of times and situations.

Think of the elevator rides where you’ll both stare blankly forward, the classes which you’ll have signed up for where you’ll both aim to blend into the walls, and the act of opening your door to see that special someone walk by, at which point you’ll either quickly retreat back to your room, pretending to have forgotten something, or smile politely while secretly yearning to stab said person in the heart.

The reality of attending FCLC is that there are literally two buildings, so in order to avoid the inevitably awkward situations which are bound to occur in the following months, follow this simple dorm breakup guide.

Take the stairs at all costs…even if you live on the 20th floor 

O.K., so this may sound harsh, but not only will you avoid your nemesis, you’ll also get some exercise, which will result in an amazing appearance and therefore elicit jealousy in your ex.  And if you do bump into them in the stairwell, just dash by them like a bolt of lightning, either pretending that you didn’t see them or that you were in a massive rush to get down the next 18 flights of stairs so you could go to your amazing job, internship or class, because you’re just so much busier and more important than they are.

Suck up to your friends 

This is the time to be extra nice to those friends who you feel may be likely to side with your ex. When parents split up, kids usually need to decide where to stay, while when relationships end, friends may also feel that they need to choose one side of the fence. So bake them some cookies, do their laundry for them, and basically deny all the terrible things that your ex may have told them about you. Of course you didn’t send hate mail to all the people they dated after you or threaten to graffiti their door with profanity.

Don’t drink and text

This is a definite no-no. Hidden aggression, phones and alcohol do not go hand-in-hand. When at a party, bar or basically anywhere where alcohol is within reach, hide your phone! Or at least give it to a close friend. Drunken texts are not only embarrassing but also don’t make any sense.  BU$#$T I STUKLL LOIve YoOP!!  does not only come off as desperate, but also illiterate.

Get a job

So maybe you’ll be crying into the burger  you’re flipping or chopping the onions with a little too much vigor, but at least this way your mind will be occupied and you won’t be thinking about your ex 24/7. Also, you won’t risk running into them in the dorms since you’ll be out reelin’ in the dough while they sit on their sorry, broke butt. Posting Facebook photos of you having oodles of fun with your burger buddies will say a couple of things. One, it will say, “Look, I’m so over you that I can have oodles of fun,” and two, “My burger buddies are so much cooler than you ever were.”

Eat chocolate 

Dark chocolate actually makes you happy and you’ll burn it all off running up and down the stairs, running errands for your friends and slaving away at your new job.

So there you have it, five post-break-up strategies for those living in the dorms. The best strategy of all, however, is to remember these four words: it will get better.