After Marriage in May, Finals In Fall, One Degree of Separation Remains


Published: October 7, 2010

Jessica Davis, FCLC ’10, is just like many 21-year-olds at Fordham College at Lincoln Center (FCLC), trying to juggle school, family, roommates, friends and work. She is passionate about her job, both excited and fearful of graduating and loves to spend quality time with friends. While at first glance, she may seem like an average FCLC student, the wedding band on her left ring finger suggests otherwise. You see, Davis has been married to her husband, FCLC graduate John Bashaar, since May 2010, after dating seriously for five years.

This tends to create problems when persistent men approach her at bars, random people ask personal questions about her life… oh, and when her husband isn’t allowed to spend the night at her dorm. While the complaints have flooded in by annoyed students over significant others (as in spring flings) not being allowed to remain in the dorms overnight, marriage greatly alters the playing field.

Though Davis says she understands the reasoning behind Fordham’s policy, she still believes it is “a little ridiculous.”

The current policy forbids students from signing in opposite-sex guests overnight, which in Jessica’s case, extends to her husband.

“I understand why they have implemented this policy,” she said. “Part of the reason is because they want roommates to be respectful of each other’s privacy and space. I’m sure many students don’t want their roommates to have their dates over at all hours of the night when they’re studying or just trying to get some rest. But John and I are apart so much that it would make our lives so much easier knowing he can visit me if he can and not have to worry about where to spend the night.”

After all, it’s not like Bashaar can hop on a train back home: he and Davis are both in the military and he is currently stationed in Fort Lee, Virginia. Not only does this couple have the burden of being young and married, but they are making a long-distance military marriage work.

The morning after their wedding, she kissed him goodbye and dropped him off at the airport. When they greeted each other two months later, they were only able to spend a few weeks together before school started and he returned to his duties.

Though many people have questioned her about why they married so young (Bashaar is only 22), Davis explained that, “it’s really part of the military culture for many members to be married young. Half of John’s class is married now.” And dealing with the everyday hurdles of a long distance relationship no longer feels strange to Davis, because by now, she’s become accustomed to spending time apart from her husband.

“Since John was a student here, he understands daily life at school,” Davis said. “We’re both from Baltimore, our fathers died the same year and we share many of the same interests and hobbies. Things like this have drawn us so much closer together and really help me through our time apart.”

Skype, e-mails, phone calls, and letters also keep their relationship strong, despite the distance. So what will their reunion bring?

“We’ll finally get to go on our honeymoon when I graduate this December,” Davis said. “I get by by thinking that soon, I’ll be able to live with him.

After all this time, we’ll finally be together.”