The College Bucket List; Due Date: Graduation!


Published: August 27, 2009

I’m sorry to remind you, Class of 2010, but your time is almost up. You are officially starting your fall semester for the last time (unless you’re one of those deferring adulthood by hiding out in grad school). But no matter what your plans for next year are, one thing is the same for all of us: our lives as carefree, immature undergrad students are about to be over. But before we hit the world and become successful, wealthy New York elites, there is a “to do” list we all must complete. The “time of our lives” is coming to a close, so let’s go out with a bang!

Be Obnoxious

Do I even need to remind you? I’m sure all summer long we have all continued to live up to the stereotype of obnoxious college student. But with only eight months left until graduation, you have a lot more people to annoy! So keep throwing up in public places, screaming on subway trains and making the poor takeout guy delivering 10 boxes of pizza wait in the lobby of McMahon in the wee hours of the morning, because after this year people will no longer just shake their heads and chuckle at “those crazy college kids,” you will most likely be met with obscenities instead.


Use Your Blackberry Only for Frivolous and Trivial Things

Yes, many seniors have very important internships. Others are exchanging highly urgent emails with someone very significant who simply just cannot wait until said student returns home to their computer. But let’s be real. For most Blackberry users here at FCLC, BBM is the most important application they have. Next year, your relationship with your beloved Blackberry will be bombarded with boring work emails, meeting reminders and six a.m. alarms. So take advantage of the little leisure time you have left together. Play Bricks until your scrolly ball breaks, Ping everyone you know and set a hip-hop song with lyrics way too inappropriate for an office to be your ring tone. Next year, you’ll be that person with the mind-numbing Nokia ring. Sad, I know.


Hang out at a Diner at 4 A.M… Drunk… On a Weeknight

Something tells me that even if you attempted to defy the adult gods and pencil The Flame into your agenda book, it wouldn’t ever be quite the same. The grilled cheese won’t be quite as good and the other drunk patrons won’t seem quite as funny. Overall, the whole experience won’t be quite as enjoyable knowing that you can’t hit snooze the next morning and tell your boss you came down with something and couldn’t make it in.


Dance on a Bar

Yes, it’s tacky. And a tad dangerous. But, it also fulfills your obnoxious quota. Man up! Are you a college student or not? No need to be picky, any hard, elevated surface will do. May I recommend karaoke nights and/or cheap, dive bars as optimal locales? Beyond the thrill of shaking that thang in front of a whole bar full of patrons, this task is much more about lack of inhibition. After graduation your life will be filled with the need to impress bosses, schmooze your way through dinners and meetings, and come off collected and successful in front of judgmental Aunt Ira at the family reunion. This year is your last chance to flip society the bird. Oh and when “Billy Jean,” “I Wear My Sunglasses at Night,” or any other 1980s pop hit comes on, an air mic is a must.


Listen to Miley Cyrus and Love it

Who am I kidding? Graduation isn’t going to magically erase our enjoyment of cheesy teen pop songs, but it will push it into the “guilty pleasure” category. Instead of belting it out on the top of a bar (see above), you’ll be forced to become a closet singer. Rocking out to “7 Things” in front of your mirror, when your roommate isn’t home. So, ask the cab driver to turn it up, belt it out loud as you walk the streets with your iPod, and make a request at the DJ booth. Next year you’ll be discussing Mozart over the water cooler.


Sleep until the Middle of the Afternoon

Oh, you’ll do it next year too, but not without the guilt trip/failure to complete important tasks that will come as a result. After a busy workweek, you are going to be left with two days to get done all the little errands that must be completed. If you sleep until three, you won’t have enough time to do your laundry, put something other than Redbull in your fridge, walk your dog and meet your friends for dinner and drinks. Chances are you’ll grant drinks top priority and you’ll be forced to wear dirty underwear and live on nonperishable canned items, not to mention getting the stink eye from Scruffy all week. Soak up this last eight months of scheduling late classes and getting your full 10 hours.


Take a Roadtrip

The typical college vacation. A few friends, some gas money and the open road. After this year, getting all of your schedules to match up will be close to impossible and if by chance they do, you’ll want to relax with a cocktail on the beach, not be cooped up in a car for a week. Channel your inner sense of adventure, pick an obscure town days away and bond with your pals over tunes and roadside food.


Live by the Motto “It’s 5 o’clock Somewhere”

Just drink. You are legal now (or about to be for the unfortunate youngin’s of the group). Meet for brunch over mimosas. Channel “Sex and the City” and drink cosmos at an outdoor café on your lunch break. Take a study break and de-stress with a beer and some hot wings. This is the last year where you can drink all day, every day without being diagnosed with an addiction. Next year you will move from the college student category onto the roster of an AA meeting, so live it up while you can!


Take 4 Million Pictures of Yourself

Tongue out, rock star pose. You, your friend and the random guy on the subway who was your best friend for five minutes. The infamous toilet shot, preferably with you on it. There are plenty of them already on your hard drive, but with your last year of college beginning, you better make room for about a million more. Not that you won’t continue to take a million embarrassing photos when you meet friends for after work happy hour, but after this year the pictures will come with a ton of responsibility. Filtering out anything too graphic, too sweaty or too irresponsible.  And waiting on Facebook so that you can instantly untag anything incriminating your friends may post. So click away, engage in photo shoots everywhere and anywhere, basking in the fact that for eight more months you can post, tag and comment away with no reprimanding from the boss come Monday morning.


Update Your Twitter Every 10 Minutes

Not that you won’t have highly important changes occurring in your daily routine every 10 seconds next year. And not to say that you actually do have those things now, but next year it will just be sad if you have enough time on your hands to tell the world what you are doing every minute of every day. Either your job is really boring, which would warrant equally boring tweets, or you are being sucker punched by the economy and are sitting at home on your couch. In which case, you probably do not have anything at all to tweet about accept the fact that you are unemployed sitting on your couch. So tweet away while you still can, because unfortunately next year, you will need to get a real life.