On Physically Assaulting Tim Gunn


One of the aspects of life in New York that people who don’t live in New York get the most excited about is celebrity sightings. When people find out where I live some of the first questions I get asked are: “Don’t you just love Times Square?”, “How do you sleep with all that noise?”, “Do you go to Broadway shows all the time?” and “Have you seen any celebrities?”

They are always disappointed to hear that my life here is much like their lives wherever they live: I have homework, I have a job, I’m on a budget, and usually the exhaustion caused by these things allows me to sleep perfectly well at night. Additionally, the fact that I do not spend all of my time doing touristy activities just escapes their comprehension. Most of all though, they are always disappointed by my celebrity sighting stories.

I think I have some sort of facial blindness that applies only to celebrities. I recognize people that I ride the bus with two days a week by sight, but I can never recognize the people I spend countless hours watching on TV and in movies when I see them in real life. 

For instance, I was at Barnes and Noble perusing the poetry section when a tall man kept blocking my way. It happened like three times and being myself short in stature, I had had enough so I pushed said man out of the way in something akin to a body check. Immediately after I did that, my boyfriend grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the aisle.

“Do you have any idea who that was?!” he asked once we were out of earshot. “A rude guy who would not get out of the way?” I guessed. As it turns out, the man that I had just body checked was none other than Tim Gunn, the fashion god himself.  I hadn’t recognized him at all.   

So for all the people who are trying to vicariously live the city life through me, I guess when it comes to celebrity sightings, I just can’t “make it work.”