Published: October 11, 2007

I was feeling a tinge of nostalgia for a time when Gwen Stefani was actually more punk rock (well, kind of) than bubble gum pop, so I did a bit of digging and managed to unearth No Doubt’s “Return of Saturn.” This is the album that starts off with the super catchy anthem for those girls who just found themselves in dumped-ville, “Ex-girlfriend.”

After belting it out with Gwen and finding I still remembered every word, I skipped to track 3 (track 2 is too slow and boring for rocking out in your bedroom in your underwear) and was really struck by how true the lyrics are. In “Bathwater,” Gwen sings of a guy with a “museum of lovers” whom she just can’t seem to quit. “I can’t help it,” she sings. “You’re my kind of man.”

Gwen goes on to question the female race about this addiction they, she and I all seem to have. “So why do we choose the boys that are naughty? I don’t fit in so why do you want me? And I know I can’t tame you. . .but I just keep trying.”

What is it about the bad boy that makes even the good Catholic girl think impure thoughts? Motorcycles, cigarettes and tight jeans have convinced the cheerleader to skip the sock-hop and head over to make-out point. Tattoos, piercings and a f*** the world attitude have made me fantasize of things I would never speak.

Now, let me continue by saying that I have a boyfriend who I am truly in love with, and he is not a bad boy, nor do I wish he were. But every time I see a guy with tattoos, long hair and that “you can’t tame me” look, some sensor in my brain sets off the “bad boy alert” that I find quite difficult to ignore. My boyfriend can now look at a guy, turn to me and say, “You think he’s hot, don’t you?”

Yes, I do. I know he’s trouble, I know I love you, but a small part of me still wants him. I can’t explain it. I’m sure some sociologist has done a study on this (and if not, then one should.  There’s a project for one of you sociology or anthropology majors who are wondering what the hell you’re going to do with your major when they graduate).  I’m sure that he or she came up with absolutely no explanation for this phenomenon.

If there’s no cure or explanation, there should at least be a support group for the bad-boy-aholics of the world to discuss their addiction and offer each other advice on battling the pull of the dark side of the male sex. If anyone does know of such a group or can offer any advice, please contact me. I’m not joking here; this is no laughing matter. This is a serious problem, especially if this disease is genetic. I don’t want to have a daughter who chases after anything like what I just caught myself ogling.

So why do we choose the boys that are naughty? Well, I didn’t. But that doesn’t mean that a small part of this good girl doesn’t still secretly want a bad boy.