Published: January 29, 2009

Have you ever come across an article about some famous scientist who has made a great new discovery and is being honored for his work? As you read through the article, it claims that you would never have guessed that such a successful scientist had actually failed his college biology class. Go figure! Well, sometimes I daydream (and as you’ll soon understand, this too is part of the problem) that one day I’ll be up on a stage receiving an award for my latest book. I’ll make my big speech and announce that you can fail a class in college and still be successful later on in life, “Just take me, for example…”

What exactly does it feel like to receive an F in a college class? I speak from experience when I say that it feels a bit discouraging and painful, yet surprisingly refreshing at the same time. I received my first (and only) F in a Finite Mathematics class during my sophomore year at Fordham. Besides the fact that I abhorred math with a raging passion, I simply lost focus in class due to my scatterbrained teacher. It would take him an entire class session just to complete one seemingly simple problem. During each class, all I heard were the sighs of my fellow classmates, and all I saw were their looks of dismay at the instructor’s total lack of direction. Anyway, my disinterest in the subject coupled with this teacher’s craziness ultimately led to my failing grade.

There are, in fact, some sure-fire ways to fail a class. Staring off into space and writing song lyrics in your notebook for an hour, instead of listening to the teacher, is probably the best way to start. Sometimes, I would get really creative and write a poem. I would gaze out the window and think about what people outside might have been doing at the moment. I was constantly texting on my cell-phone in an effort to avoid eye contact with my teacher who probably knew better than to pick on me.

I also had a terrible attitude toward the class on a whole. This is definitely the key ingredient needed to fail any class. I walked into the room each week (if I decided to show up) with a frown and assured myself that since the class was so boring, I didn’t need to make an effort to work for a good grade. I wondered why I was being subjected to this torture and thought that it just wasn’t fair.

It was then that I decided to take my first step in the wrong direction. My teacher gave us a quiz a few weeks into the course. By this time, my notebook pages were brimming with doodles, and I hadn’t picked up on any information whatsoever. The quiz proved to be an absolute disaster. I got an eight out of 100 percent. Unbelievable, right? Then there was the midterm—a six out of 100 percent. I even tried to make a half-hearted effort to seek help in the math department. I would sit with a tutor for about 20 minutes and then realize I had a massive headache. Sitting through that class was terrible enough. Why inflict more pain on myself by listening to someone else drone on about probability problems?

After the midterm, I decided to simply throw in the towel. This is another key step in receiving an F. I knew that regardless of how “well” I did on the final, no grade could really save me at this point. This is when you know you’re going to get that F because you have exhausted all efforts of taking the steps to help yourself. The period of denial has now officially ended and you welcome inevitable failure with open arms. Once the final exam was passed out and positioned in front of me on the desk that I had so very much come to hate, I chuckled. There was no way I would ever possibly complete this exam, let alone pass it.

I wrote a brief note on the back of the exam to my professor, apologizing for having given up on his class. I handed it in only about 10 minutes into the exam and walked out laughing to myself. A few giggles could be heard in the classroom, and I’m pretty sure someone clapped. My teacher came rushing after me in the hallway asking what had happened. I explained to him that I just couldn’t deal with math. I explained that although I had sought help and attempted studying, it was to no avail. He told me to have a great summer, and that was the last I heard of Finite Mathematics.

Now, there are most certainly some repercussions that come along with having a huge F printed on your college transcript. I certainly do not condone any student reading this and deciding that receiving an F would be totally cool. I was going to have to make up the three credits for the failed course at some point before graduation. I was also going to have to fit a computer science class into my schedule to receive credit for a mathematics requirement.

I decided it would be a good idea to take a summer class, worth three credits, at another college. Seeing as it was an English class (my forte, so to speak) I passed with an A and came out with an in-depth knowledge of all things Chaucer. In actuality, my summer school class allowed me to excel in at least three of my English classes at Fordham during junior and senior years. Everything I had learned in the summer was extremely helpful and gave me an upper hand over many of my fellow English majors. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, had I not failed Finite Mathematics, I may never have had the opportunity to learn about all of those important English topics in summer school. I am happy to report that as an English major since junior year, I have kept a steady average of a 3.4 and above. I learned my lesson about what it means to dedicate your time and energy to all classes regardless of whether or not you’re interested in the subject. I’ll be walking across the stage this May to receive my diploma, and I will consider the F on my transcript, but smile knowing that I came out stronger from it in the end.