I write this from your supermarket down the street. I’m on the back shelf in a poorly lit corner where in the midst of the big news, I was thrown away from the rest of the box. My fellow Twinkie is in the wrapper sleeping; we’re tired. It’s been a rough couple of days.

Most of you have said your goodbyes, whether with a witty tweet in our honor or a teary farewell while stuffing your face with us. I’d like to say thank you (excluding the few jerks who laughed at our expense).

Since Thanksgiving just passed, I thought it was fitting that I write a series of goodbye thank you notes from me on behalf of all Twinkies and Hostess products to you.

I am thankful that for a while there, we were all Americans’ best kept secret. You guys were so crafty with hiding us. We were the mistress in the house and it was fun! Hiding beneath beds, in between linens and on the top of cabinets. Hopefully, now that we’re gone you won’t continue to guiltily hide something a bit more dangerous from your loved ones.

I am thankful that we were a big part of that movie, “Zombieland” with Emma Stone AND Bill Murray. They autographed my box and I nearly fainted with excitement.

I’m really thankful for the guy who is selling Twinkies on eBay at an unreasonable price ($200,000?!). I now know my worth.

I am thankful that I was never deep fried. Disgusting.

Mostly, I would say, I am terribly grateful for the men and women who worked in the factories to assemble the baked goods of Hostess. I know you might be out of jobs right now but word on the street is that Hostess kept on taking more benefits from you. You deserve better. I wish you all the best on your job search. I know this all really mushy, but hey, I am a cream filled pastry.

There is a slight chance we might survive this. Grupo Bimbo, along with other companies, are interested in buying me. But maybe it’s best if we die out with our mother brand. After all, is it really a Twinkie without a Hostess wrapper? I don’t know if this is the end of the Twinkie era and the beginning of a healthy America, or if you’re all doomed to submit to your other vices. I’m not here to tell you what’s going to happen because I don’t really know myself. But I know I’m a Hostess Twinkie till the end.

So, goodbye and thank you for the last 82 years. Just a few last requests: please try to refrain using our name or any other Hostess products as the name of sexual acts. Show some respect. We wouldn’t mind some sort of cool cultural references now that we’re going under, though.

And please, have a beer and a Twinkie tonight in our honor.

With much love,

One Very Grateful Twinkie