On Thanksgiving, It’s the Little Things That Count

No Sorority Girls and Loads of Security Alerts, It’s Time to Give Thanks For All Fordham Gives Us

By DANIELLE PAGE

Published: November 19, 2009

Fordham College at Lincoln Center (FCLC) offers its students a one-of-a-kind college experience. Upon graduation we will all share a unique bond; no one else will quite understand the four years we spent with New York City as our campus, having middle-of-the-night (or really early morning) dinners at The Flame and spending half of our day on the elevator. With Thanksgiving right around the corner, it’s time to be thankful for all the things FCLC has given us that we never stop to think about. Here are some of the little things around campus that deserve a nod of thanks next time you pass.

Luz the Cafeteria Lady

She’s a sweet, little old lady who will turn on you in a second if you try to pay with your debit card (but you have to admit, she’s kind of cute when she’s angry). Pay with exact change or with your Fordham ID to stay on her good side. And if you only have a credit card, give thanks for the laugh you get when she starts mumbling under her breath and throwing receipts at you.

When Tuesday Becomes a Monday Schedule

No other college would even think of making sure that Monday classes don’t get screwed over by unimportant national holidays like Columbus Day, but here at Fordham, your education comes first.  Give double thanks if you happen to have Mondays off this semester, and therefore totally beat this system and get an extra holiday.

Bathroom Purse Hangers

Ladies, be extremely thankful that the majority of Fordham’s bathrooms have hooks on the back of their doors to keep your Louis Vuittons grime free. Without them, FCLC girls would have to struggle between keeping their bags on one arm while reaching for the toilet paper with the other, which would most likely end badly.

Security Alerts

Have you ever been doubtful that the Lincoln Center campus was the right decision for you? Reading the security alerts in your Fordham mailbox detailing how Rose Hill students were attacked and mugged by vicious 14-year-old males dressed in all black should put those doubts to rest. Security alerts: not only used to keep Fordham students safe, but also used to keep students at Lincoln Center here for all four years of their college careers. Be thankful.

 

Lack of Greek Life

The absence of frat boys and sorority girls at Fordham has forced students to go out and make a group of real friends, rather than relying on a group of 50 or so students to accept you into their inner circle after forcing you to cover your hands in marshmallow fluff and separate all of the green sprinkles from a pack of rainbow ones. Be thankful that your dreams will never be haunted by the tedious memorization of Greek letters.

Jesuits

While you may blame the Jesuits for Fordham’s lack of free condoms or the price you have to pay to keep an overnight guest of the opposite sex in McMahon, this is all actually meant to teach you a lesson in good decision making. Next time you’re tempted to sneak someone in overnight, think to yourself, “Is this really going to be worth paying the $15 penalty, plus the box of condoms?” If you answered no, thank a Jesuit

Ram Vans

Not only do Ram Vans provide convenient access to the Rose Hill campus; riding the Ram Van  provides Fordham students with a unique experience all its own. During this 30-minute ride, you may fear for your life due to the student driver’s lack of driving skills or have the opportunity to listen in on an extremely intellectual conversation between two guido freshmen who “tapped some sweet ass” this past weekend. Your driver might side swipe a tree or a pole or another Ram Van, but there haven’t been many serious accidents recently, so don’t worry. It’s all part of the Fordham experience.

The Max Capacity Elevator Sensor

It might be downright mortifying when you are the only one to exit the ridiculously packed Lowenstein elevator, which then promptly closes and functions properly due to your weight being removed from it. However, consider the alternative—had our elevators not been equipped with the sensibility to realize that there are too many fatties on one elevator at one time, disaster could strike, cords could snap, elevators filled with extra freshman 15 weight could plummet! So take the walk of shame off of the elevator every now and then, and be thankful that you’re burning some calories by taking the stairs.